Regardless of what anyone's beliefs { or nonbelief, at it may be}are or are not, all humans are called to a purpose. none of us exist to merely take up oxygen and other resources, each and everyone has a purpose or two[ or three or four.....} for our time hear on Earth. Today's sermon lesson was on such ' callings' and since I am a Christian, I shall take a Christian approach to this topic.
Discerning a '"call" has two components One is the inner voice that tells someone she or he is called to a particular place, job, relationship, ect. Makes sense, yes?
I've spent at least the past two years in my own discernment. for reasons which I would rather not mention, I felt a need to make a move from one Episcopal parish to another.
My decision to leave Small Parish for Beach Parish was not an easy one, nor did I make that choice to follow that call "suddenly" [ no matter what you might have heard through the local grapevine]
I'd been in a conversation with God and with some trusted friends regarding this move to beach parish for quite some time. When the right mix of events occurred, it was God SHOUTING to me " Time to move". By that time, I was ready for the next step in my walk with Christ---and as painful as my parting with Small Parish was and still is, I do not regret listening to that inner voice of God telling me that it was past time to move on.
As my mom, she'll tell you that I do not listen to anyone very well or very often. God was shouting at me to get my skinny butt to a different place . Sadly like the stubborn Irish-American hillbilly gal I am, I still didn't listen. after all, God wasn't giving me any specifics about WHY it was time to seek out a new parish home, all God kept telling me that I needed to move on from what I'd come to know and love.[ yes I do love Small Parish}
The second part of the ' call' isn't quite so easy: Does the community affirm the call? In my case, I'd felt both the inner call to leave Small Parish---but was terrified of what that might mean for the relationships that I had built with the people in that community. Best Dude was and still IS a member of Small Parish, and the idea of becoming a two-parish household DID NOT make me feel good. Yet I was restless in the former parish community, and felt out-of-place among them. try as I might, I felt lonely among them, and only continued to be a part of that parish because I selfishly wanted to spend Sunday mornings with him. Also, are we not supposed to worship in a church near where we live?
For two years I struggled with these questions and many more. God was telling me what God wanted me to do, and even as I began to see the ' big picture" of what God called me to do I still resisted until some circumstances hit me in what felt like a literal slap in the face. all I shall say about what prompted me to finally listen to God's calling me was that it SUCKED!
I can say with a clear and joyous heart that Beach Church has affirmed my ' calling' to be a part and among them. I only wish I would have answered this particular call sooner.
Thanks be to God.
Amen.
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Bullshit and bullies : Adulthood Version
As usual, a Facebook post led my thoughts to wander down a metaphorical " rabbit hole". As someone whose Myers-Briggs personality type is INFJ and being slightly on the autism spectrum, I know what it is like to be a " weirdo". At my age of close to 40 years old, this " otherness" status does not bother me. As a matter of fact, after recently seeing how some so-called ' cool kids' act, I am grateful that I've never been part of any In Crowd.
I've always been the sort of woman and girl who prefers the company of guys rather than that of my own gender. When guys are mean to you , one KNOWS one is being bullied. This is not so with girls and women. Female humans can be truly vicious creatures, and most of the time these attacks are not brought on by someone defending her young.
I can recall countless instances in school when my intuition KNEW that some girls were trying to bullshit me yet my lack to social insight did not let me identify exactly WHAT the bullshit was about. As I've matured in age and experience , I'm slightly better at determining the source of social bullshit but still feel deep sorrow when I am bullied, excluded or otherwise made to feel "less than".
Eleanor Roosevelt said " No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Preach it, sister, preach it!
If someone doesn't want me around, I can tell. and I've grown beyond giving much merit to such narrow minded people who need to be cruel to me [ or anyone else] so that they can feel better about who THEY are.
Yo Bullies and Mean Girls, I am sorry that you hate yourselves so much. But how is making ME feel shitty about who I am stoke YOUR ego?
When adults bully or exclude me, I am hurt. It sucks for someone to remind me that there are petty, childish people in this world. Of course no one is perfect, but grown men and women who intentionally seek to belittle others both anger and sadden me.
Yet I've learned that how these people treat others says a hell of a lot more about the state of THEIR self-esteem than about me. After years of not listening to my mother telling me so, I've learned that bullies pick on people whom they perceive as weaker or different in order to boost their already fragile egos. I do not understand why these people must hurt someone else in order to make themselves feel ' important' { whatever the hell THAT means}but their issues are not MY issues.
I've also learned that women and men who continue to bully others well into adulthood hang out with others who behave in a similar manner. The concept of Mean Girls { and guys} extends throughout the lifespan. While I am sure that most children and teens who bully others grow into fine adults , I know from experience that some refuse to give up the cliquish separations that are so pervasive in middle and high schools. This is sad to me that some people peak at 16 years of age, but their issues should not be my problem. Actually, their insecurities are NOT my problem. Life is too short to deal with bullshit.
The end.
I've always been the sort of woman and girl who prefers the company of guys rather than that of my own gender. When guys are mean to you , one KNOWS one is being bullied. This is not so with girls and women. Female humans can be truly vicious creatures, and most of the time these attacks are not brought on by someone defending her young.
I can recall countless instances in school when my intuition KNEW that some girls were trying to bullshit me yet my lack to social insight did not let me identify exactly WHAT the bullshit was about. As I've matured in age and experience , I'm slightly better at determining the source of social bullshit but still feel deep sorrow when I am bullied, excluded or otherwise made to feel "less than".
Eleanor Roosevelt said " No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Preach it, sister, preach it!
If someone doesn't want me around, I can tell. and I've grown beyond giving much merit to such narrow minded people who need to be cruel to me [ or anyone else] so that they can feel better about who THEY are.
Yo Bullies and Mean Girls, I am sorry that you hate yourselves so much. But how is making ME feel shitty about who I am stoke YOUR ego?
When adults bully or exclude me, I am hurt. It sucks for someone to remind me that there are petty, childish people in this world. Of course no one is perfect, but grown men and women who intentionally seek to belittle others both anger and sadden me.
Yet I've learned that how these people treat others says a hell of a lot more about the state of THEIR self-esteem than about me. After years of not listening to my mother telling me so, I've learned that bullies pick on people whom they perceive as weaker or different in order to boost their already fragile egos. I do not understand why these people must hurt someone else in order to make themselves feel ' important' { whatever the hell THAT means}but their issues are not MY issues.
I've also learned that women and men who continue to bully others well into adulthood hang out with others who behave in a similar manner. The concept of Mean Girls { and guys} extends throughout the lifespan. While I am sure that most children and teens who bully others grow into fine adults , I know from experience that some refuse to give up the cliquish separations that are so pervasive in middle and high schools. This is sad to me that some people peak at 16 years of age, but their issues should not be my problem. Actually, their insecurities are NOT my problem. Life is too short to deal with bullshit.
The end.
Friday, January 16, 2015
2015 so far
It is the middle of January and I am just NOW blogging. These past few weeks have been full of shitty stress, what with the holidays and other such happenings occurring. I am sorry that I have not updated yinz via this blog, but rest assured that I am alive and kicking here in the Deep South. After 17 years of life here in Northwest Florida, I am resigned that this is where God wants me to be at this time in my life. however, I am planning not one but TWO trips back to my beloved mountains this year. [ happy happy] stay tuned to this very blog for more information....
As it turns out, due to an injury in my cervical spine, I have not finished the novel I'd started in November. Have no fear, friends, I fully intend to finish said novel. My participating in National Novel Writing Month is fun, but if I am as honest as I try to be I know it is damn well impossible for me to complete 50000 words in 30 days.
The big news is; I am going to be an auntie again. Brother and SIL announced over the holidays that they are expecting baby #2 this summer. Aunthood rocks, and I am so excited to prepare for the arrival of my next niece or nephew.
Best Dude and I are still loving life together. we celebrated our 4th anniversary of non-marriage earlier this month , and I can honestly say that I am blessed beyond belief with such an amazing life partner. While I am DELIGHTED that gay and lesbian people in this state can now legally marry, I for one do not need a piece of paper issued from the government to validate that Best Dude and I are indeed " one".
I am currently training for a 5k race to be ran in March. so far, my personal best record is EXACTLY 32 minutes. My pre-race goal is 30 minutes or under, and if I stay healthy, I just might accomplish this goal by race day!
Although I've been a member of my current gym for a year now I've not found a training buddy. I'm also ok with training alone, especially since I can now listen to commercial-free music on my NEW Samsung galaxy 5s smartphone.
[ drum roll please....}
Best Dude and I joined the 21st century this past Christmas by getting smartphone. To be honest, said phone is my latest obsession; the thing does damn well EVERYTHING. I love it!
Happy New Year!
As it turns out, due to an injury in my cervical spine, I have not finished the novel I'd started in November. Have no fear, friends, I fully intend to finish said novel. My participating in National Novel Writing Month is fun, but if I am as honest as I try to be I know it is damn well impossible for me to complete 50000 words in 30 days.
The big news is; I am going to be an auntie again. Brother and SIL announced over the holidays that they are expecting baby #2 this summer. Aunthood rocks, and I am so excited to prepare for the arrival of my next niece or nephew.
Best Dude and I are still loving life together. we celebrated our 4th anniversary of non-marriage earlier this month , and I can honestly say that I am blessed beyond belief with such an amazing life partner. While I am DELIGHTED that gay and lesbian people in this state can now legally marry, I for one do not need a piece of paper issued from the government to validate that Best Dude and I are indeed " one".
I am currently training for a 5k race to be ran in March. so far, my personal best record is EXACTLY 32 minutes. My pre-race goal is 30 minutes or under, and if I stay healthy, I just might accomplish this goal by race day!
Although I've been a member of my current gym for a year now I've not found a training buddy. I'm also ok with training alone, especially since I can now listen to commercial-free music on my NEW Samsung galaxy 5s smartphone.
[ drum roll please....}
Best Dude and I joined the 21st century this past Christmas by getting smartphone. To be honest, said phone is my latest obsession; the thing does damn well EVERYTHING. I love it!
Happy New Year!
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