For all those " Not-Moms" out there...

One of my very least-favorite social conventions is that of the bridal or baby shower.

I hate attending these social events. First of all, my personality is more suited to events where there will be a mixed -company guest list. I'm not fully comfortable in social situations that encompass only women.

Bridal & baby showers ,, to me at least, re-enforce the old idea of what is " feminine" . I am not married & am not a mother & these events { and the anxiety that leads up to me attending these events}is cause for a lot of sadness.

Next year will be my 20th high school reunion & some of the women in my class have children who are teenagers already. Almost all of them are parents whose Facebook feeds are filled with cute photos of happy children. I'm happy for them, truly I am. But at the same time I cannot help but wonder what my classmates think of me. Am I **the crazy dog-lady**. ?

When I was little I wanted children. I've been told that I am quite talented in the area of working with young people & Until a few years ago felt that motherhood might be a reality for me.

It " ain't" happening. Motherhood is not part of the plan.

Most of the time I am okay with my non-motherhood. Best Dude & I adopted a dog who is pretty much like " our child".  Being childless allows for much " Sarah time" that I otherwise would not have had I been able to be a mother. In short, my life is great as it is & I'm blessed in so many ways. We have a full & rich life together.

But on occasion I feel a wave of incomprehensible grief wash over me regarding my childlessness . Usually this grief occurs around the time that I anticipate attending a baby shower.

Perhaps it is natural to mourn what " never will be" , but I feel like a { for lack of a better word in my vernacular} a " wuss". Like it or not, women who are not mothers are looked at differently than women without offspring. Sometimes I feel that there is a figurative & literal " Moms' Club" which I will never be asked to join. Childless men in our society are not looked upon as " less-than" but those of us who are women without children{ be our childlessness be a result of a lifestyle choice or a medical issue}

Another contributing factor is my ethnicity. My Mother is Jewish & even though I am Christian: part of my " cultural DNA" is that of the Eastern European Jews.  Progeny are a VERY BIG DEAL to Jewish people due in part to their religion & I grew up with an idealized & rather narrow view of what constitutes as a " family".

But I know that familes are different and that my God-given gift of working with young people has not been wasted. I've taught Sunday school, worked as a babysitter for two of the BEST kids{ who are now young adults} & currently serve as an advisor to my parish's youth group. In addition to my work with young people, I am a very good dog-mom.

We childless & child-free people are not freaks of nature. Our families are just as valid as are more traditional family units.

Amen.