This morning I overheard { despite my best intentions to TUNE OUT the conversation} a trainer and a client chatting about counting calories. Now I realize that everyone elses' wellness goals are different, but as someone who is and always will be in recovery from disordered eating, I found this whole exchange between the two women triggering. the client was not overweight in the least U chatted LOUDLY to her trainer about how little she eats per day.
Heartbreaking. :O(
I was an athlete during high school who also suffered from disordered eating. I will not delve into the details, but it will suffice to say that I ate way too few calories for a normal teen girl, let alone one who ran constantly at JV basketball practice each day after classes. I was OBSESSED with eating as few calories as possible without literally fainting from lack of glucose.
My parents have my sophomore and junior high school yearbooks, and I cannot bear to look at the photos of myself during these years. I totally bought into the media's obsession with " thin is in" and the resulting disordered eating has left me with some irreparable health problems. I am eternally grateful that I survived the years of self-abuse incurred by my eating disorders.
It saddens me that some women STILL feel that " thin is in". the media still tells we women how we " should" look like and that there is something " wrong" with women who do not meet their ridiculous ideal of " feminine beauty" . This is so damaging to women & girls----eating disorders DO NOT go away just because someone has changed her{ or in rarer cases HIS} behaviors towards food & exercise. Recovery, as with other behavioral illnesses, is ongoing.
Damn it, I hate my acute sense of hearing. My strategy for the next time I see these two together in the gym: place the ear buds back into my ears and turn up the music! I've no time for that " calorie counting" nonsense in my healthy lifestyle.
That's all.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Saturday, February 8, 2014
Divergent!
Due to some " technical difficulties" at our house last evening, I spent most of the time reading a new novel that I 'd bought just for the occasion. It is so good that I've ALREADY completed almost half of the book in one three-hour setting.
The book is _Divergence_ the first novel in a trilogy of novels by author Veronica Roth. Some bookish friends have been recommending these novels to me , so I FINALLY bought an old-fashioned paper copy of the first book in the trilogy yesterday afternoon.
Take my advice & READ THIS NOVEL!
I will not add any plot spoilers---so please take my advice & read this novel if you have not yet done so.
The trilogy is geared towards teen and young adults, but the storyline is one that any book-nerd can appreciate. The lead character Beatrice or" Tris" as she is called in the novel, is a heroine on par with Katniss Everdeen and Hermione Granger. She's smart, compassionate and tries really hard to do what is right. But she is not without flaws.
Growing up, I had too damn few literary role models that were girls & women. During my pre-teen and early teen years I wasted so much time reading such " teen-lit" as Sweet Valley High and The Babysitter's Club" books. In retrospect, I see now that these books { especially SVH} are poorly written and lack any sort of strong female characters. It is heartwarming to see so many strong, smart & capable female literary characters are emerging in the YA fiction genre.
Thank you, Ms Roth, for creating a novel series featuring a very well-done yet believable female lead character.
The book is _Divergence_ the first novel in a trilogy of novels by author Veronica Roth. Some bookish friends have been recommending these novels to me , so I FINALLY bought an old-fashioned paper copy of the first book in the trilogy yesterday afternoon.
Take my advice & READ THIS NOVEL!
I will not add any plot spoilers---so please take my advice & read this novel if you have not yet done so.
The trilogy is geared towards teen and young adults, but the storyline is one that any book-nerd can appreciate. The lead character Beatrice or" Tris" as she is called in the novel, is a heroine on par with Katniss Everdeen and Hermione Granger. She's smart, compassionate and tries really hard to do what is right. But she is not without flaws.
Growing up, I had too damn few literary role models that were girls & women. During my pre-teen and early teen years I wasted so much time reading such " teen-lit" as Sweet Valley High and The Babysitter's Club" books. In retrospect, I see now that these books { especially SVH} are poorly written and lack any sort of strong female characters. It is heartwarming to see so many strong, smart & capable female literary characters are emerging in the YA fiction genre.
Thank you, Ms Roth, for creating a novel series featuring a very well-done yet believable female lead character.
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
I am not "The Biggest Loser" I am Fit & Healthy.
I am not a fan of the " reality show" on TV called " The Biggest Loser". Now I know many people find this show inspirational, but for me it dredges out many of my since-buried issues with body dysmorphia & disordered eating. While I suppose that I can see how some people glean hope from watching these people transform themselves on this " reality game show" it leaves me with some painful memories.
I have always been a thin person. Both of my parents are thin & even as a baby I lacked even most of the customary " baby fat".
Due to some unforeseen circumstances , and in spite of my long & lean body type, I developed disordered eating as a middle-schooler. I am not 100 percent positive of the trigger of this condition, but I am almost certain that two major back surgeries were the catalyst for my unsatisfactory body image.
I know, MOST teen girls hate their looks. But having spent 21 days flat on my back and naked save for a thin hospital gown followed by 10 months in a back brace worn from my shoulder blades down to my tailbone probably exaggerated my unhappiness with my body.
To make a long story shorter, I developed disordered eating.
I was thin , weak and with poor coloring, weak hair and nails, and in a perpetual bad mood. I focused so much on counting calories and "fighting fat" that I missed out on a lot of my younger life.
This condition plagued me from my early teenage years until well into my third decade. It was not until I finally decided that bone-thin DOES NOT equal health & vitality did I choose to change my lifestyle.
I train at a gym 3-4 days per week, but my goals DO NOT include weight loss. For me, training is not to control my weight. Rather, I seek to improve my body's function. As hard as I train, I do not follow any particular eating plan. I eat what I want & when I want to eat it. My secret is so easy: I practice PORTION CONTROL.
Yes sir & ma'am it is THAT EASY.
I eat sweets...as a matter of fact I am a choco-holic. Do I eat a whole huge bag of chocolate M&M's? No. I'll enjoy a handful of candy or one piece of pie or cake. On days that I train at the gym, I consume extra calories to make up for the fuel burned when I'm trying hard to build muscle. I NEVER skip meals.
Yet staying away from the mentality of disordered eating is a struggle. On some days{ especially during the busy Christmas holiday season} I struggle daily with these old thought patterns. the difference is that I now know that such disordered thoughts are unhealthy & I've the practical & spiritual wisdom to combat these thoughts.
It bothers me that society won't engage in a discourse about the perils of disordered eating. I KNOW I am not the only person whom I know with these particular "demons" yet no one willingly says" me too". I wish there were a Disordered Eating Anonymous 12-step program to help those of us in recovery. I believe that I can be of help to women and men who are still in the early stages of recovery but these is no national organization that connects disordered eaters with " sponsors" in their local community. I've known people who go to other 12 step programs & I am told that these programs WORK.
I've found strength, support & solace from my faith community . But I know that "religion" isn't for everyone , so I wish I could make an effort to reach more people who need help with disordered eating.
Amen.
I have always been a thin person. Both of my parents are thin & even as a baby I lacked even most of the customary " baby fat".
Due to some unforeseen circumstances , and in spite of my long & lean body type, I developed disordered eating as a middle-schooler. I am not 100 percent positive of the trigger of this condition, but I am almost certain that two major back surgeries were the catalyst for my unsatisfactory body image.
I know, MOST teen girls hate their looks. But having spent 21 days flat on my back and naked save for a thin hospital gown followed by 10 months in a back brace worn from my shoulder blades down to my tailbone probably exaggerated my unhappiness with my body.
To make a long story shorter, I developed disordered eating.
I was thin , weak and with poor coloring, weak hair and nails, and in a perpetual bad mood. I focused so much on counting calories and "fighting fat" that I missed out on a lot of my younger life.
This condition plagued me from my early teenage years until well into my third decade. It was not until I finally decided that bone-thin DOES NOT equal health & vitality did I choose to change my lifestyle.
I train at a gym 3-4 days per week, but my goals DO NOT include weight loss. For me, training is not to control my weight. Rather, I seek to improve my body's function. As hard as I train, I do not follow any particular eating plan. I eat what I want & when I want to eat it. My secret is so easy: I practice PORTION CONTROL.
Yes sir & ma'am it is THAT EASY.
I eat sweets...as a matter of fact I am a choco-holic. Do I eat a whole huge bag of chocolate M&M's? No. I'll enjoy a handful of candy or one piece of pie or cake. On days that I train at the gym, I consume extra calories to make up for the fuel burned when I'm trying hard to build muscle. I NEVER skip meals.
Yet staying away from the mentality of disordered eating is a struggle. On some days{ especially during the busy Christmas holiday season} I struggle daily with these old thought patterns. the difference is that I now know that such disordered thoughts are unhealthy & I've the practical & spiritual wisdom to combat these thoughts.
It bothers me that society won't engage in a discourse about the perils of disordered eating. I KNOW I am not the only person whom I know with these particular "demons" yet no one willingly says" me too". I wish there were a Disordered Eating Anonymous 12-step program to help those of us in recovery. I believe that I can be of help to women and men who are still in the early stages of recovery but these is no national organization that connects disordered eaters with " sponsors" in their local community. I've known people who go to other 12 step programs & I am told that these programs WORK.
I've found strength, support & solace from my faith community . But I know that "religion" isn't for everyone , so I wish I could make an effort to reach more people who need help with disordered eating.
Amen.
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