" Mean" by Taylor Swift

This song has been my " earworm" since Thursday. Thank you, Taylor Swift, for articulating what I cannot say. Bullies continue into adulthood. Parenthetical comments are mine. All yrics are Taylor Swift's and I do not own them.


"Mean"

You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me { Words words words....}
You have knocked me off my feet again { knocked me off when I am down}
Got me feeling like I'm nothing  ( again}
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard{ Hahaha so true}
Calling me out when I'm wounded
You picking on the weaker man { or woman}

You can take me down with just one single blow ( But I get right up}
But you don't know, what you don't know...

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me [ Can't hit me now...I'm taller than you}
And all you're ever gonna be is mean { all you ever were is mean Shame on me for not seeing it earlier}
Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides
And your wildfire lies and your humiliation {Immature backstabbing b____ ! }
You have pointed out my flaws again
As if I don't already see them { I am not perfect, but YOU think you are!!}
I walk with my head down
Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again { I was feeling fine til you yelled at me}

I bet you got pushed around
Somebody made you cold [ Ain't my fault}
But the cycle ends right now { This ain't high school, chika!}
'Cause you can't lead me down that road { 4 years of hell known as high school was over 20 years ago for me. No more.}
And you don't know, what you don't know...

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar
Talking over a football game
With that same big loud opinion
But nobody's listening
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing { Teach...apparently I can't teach!}
But all you are is mean

All you are is mean
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life { Liar, two faced, hopeless, immature, MEAN}
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

But someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean, yeah
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Quote of the day.

Hi, my name is Sarah Beth and I am addicted to quotes. Today one came across my Facebook page that I HAD to share, both on my personal page, via email, and here with my blog readers.


Sister Joan, Chissiter , a spiritual hero of mine, addressed a crowd at Wessally College . Here is part of what she told the packed " house' gathered to listen to the wisdom from the 78-year-old Catholic nun.




Without further ado, here is the promised quote:




"Choose what’s best in life over what is comfortable. Chose witness in life over the country club scene … Find a purpose large enough on which to spend yourselves. Torture, climate change, something that says, ‘my life isn’t over. This is yet to be done.’ What will they remember about you when you’re gone? What are you doing now that will not be forgotten"




This reminds me of what Jesus says in His famous Sermon On The Mount. Jesus does not call His followers to be complacent. we are not supposed to sit idle when there is so much injustice happening in our world.  We are called to be agents of healthy change, to be peacemakers in a world filled with wars and other conflicts. We are called to be meek...and by meek I DO NOT mean " weak" and to not seek revenge when wronged upon.


We are called to care for the earth and all its inhabitants. We are called to get out of ourselves and see how we can be of service to others.  We are called to love and honor all persons, even those whose lifestyles make no sense to us. A Christians, we are called to LOVE each other---- in spite of petty differences of opinions, lifestyles, political affiliations, ect.


Rather on focusing on what divides us, we should focus on solving problems that affect all of humanity. As we move towards the beginning of another calendar year, let us remember to live a life that matters. Don't live life for yourself, try instead to BE a change that is much needed right now.


Amen.

An open letter to bullies...anyone who is or has been a bully.

Dear former and current bullies....


Why did/do you feel the need to put others down in order to make yourself feel superior? After all, we are all human mammals and all our shit stinks. What gives YOU the right to torment those of us that you see or saw as weak or somehow " less than" ? Is it because secretly we possess a quality that you wish you could have? Is it because someone mistreats or mistreated you?  Or are you just MEAN by nature?


None of these are good excuses to be a bully. You may not like or understand your past or current victims, but that does not give you the right to torment and humiliate us.  We are all different, but we share the same humanity. If YOU were bullied, why do you inflict pain onto others? And by the way, not all of us who suffered or are suffering from bullying end up tormenting others. Some of us have integrity and know how WRONG such behavior is and how it affects victims throughout our lives.


Oh, you do not think that your actions have affected or will affect us , your victims, as we continue to live our lives.


WRONG WRONG WRONG! 


Those of us who were bullied as young people ARE affected every day by your actions that occurred so long ago. I harbor many bad memories of " mean girls" and mean boys in school that have made me cynical, suspicious and guarded. I do not trust people easily, and when betrayed, cannot forgive those who hurt me. It has taken me YEARS to find my own self-worth that was destroyed by your " fun" had at my expense. Thank to your " fun" I now suffer from neurosis that make me very hard to get to know.


Why? Thank to you, I  am careful whom I let into my life. Although I know many people, I consider precious few of them as friends. Your actions taught me that people do not always say what they mean nor do they mean what they say.


Because of my autism, it is even harder for me to decode social situations, and I would much rather  stay within my own mind than engage with stranger who could become friends or, as you bullying types are so fond of doing, become my " frenemies." The latter are the worst type of bullies, as it is never known which of the " faces" we victims will see at any given hour or day.


I've forgiven, but not forgotten. My hope is that my nephew's generation will not know the evils of bullying and its effects on its victims, but I realize that my hope is lofty at best. Although I am far from perfect, I strive to learn and grow each day. And I can honestly say that I've never treated anyone as poorly as you treated your victims.


Be nice,


Sarah Beth

Ready, Set, WRITE!!

It is midway through October and I can scarcely contain myself with waiting for November. Why? November is National Novel Writing Month & yearly I challenge myself to write a 50,000 word manuscript in 30 days. Last year I made just over 30,000 words & was pretty damn proud of myself.


This year, I am planning to start a novel that has been " living" in my mind for at least years.  Here is a quick synopsis:


A young {not yet reached her 30th birthday} Episcopal priest fresh out of seminary takes an old, historical parish in the northern Virginia mountains. No more than two months into her first year as a rector, she encounters the dead body of her Senior Warden lying face-down in a pool of blood in the church's sacristy.


Who killed him? And why would anyone WANT to kill him? Megan+, channels her inner Sherlock Holmes to find out who committed the murder. When some townspeople start gossiping, Megan knows she must solve the mystery in order to clear her name.


This shall be FUN to write.

Let it Go.

Although I have not finished Bishop Tutu's book _The Book Of Forgiving_ , this morning I realized that I am so over that which has hurt me. I have forgiven certain individuals whose actions & attitudes hurt me badly.


I have forgiven, but choose to not socialize with them. Sometimes relationships are worth saving but this one is not.


Since I'd not yet seen the movie _Frozen_ I had to look up the lyrics of the hit song by Idina Menzel. Here are the lyrics that " spoke" the most to me:


It's funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can't get to me at all!

It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me I'm free!

Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You'll never see me cry!


Forgiveness DOES NOT mean that one condones the wrongs done to him or her. Nor does forgiveness require reconciliation and a " reboot" of the damaged relationship. But forgiveness DOES mean that the thoughts of the person or people who have hurt you or me no longer take up space in my mind. I do NOT want to reconcile with them yet I do not " hate" them either. Right now I am at a really good place & am confident enough with my own choices. I know what is required of me by my LORD and savior and I also know He has forgiven me. So it is MY turn to forgive and to " let it go" .


Amen

On Stewardship, 2013-14

Yes, its that time of the year again. Weather turns { somewhat } colder in Florida, football is on TV several times per week, and all things " pumpkin spice" appear at retailers nationwide.


In the Church year, many are familiar with the annual autumn stewardship campaigns.


Anyone who knows me is aware how I've felt in the past about this annual event in the lives of congregations everywhere.  I'll admit that I HATE discussing money and budgets-- I tend to feel depressed even THINNKING about money. I do realize that money is our basis of trade in our society, and I accept this fact. However, the subject of finances makes me feel nervous.


My past issues with financial stewardship has NOTHING to do with how I fell about pledging to my Church.  As a matter of fact, since I had my own disposable income I've ALWAYS willingly pledged a percentage to the Church.  To me, financial support of the work of the Church is a response of gratitude for the many blessings I've received.


My problem with Stewardship Season is knowing that some people's financial gifts to the Church come with " strings attached" Now I am NOT talking about one-time monetary gifts designated for a particular use for a project /ministry; those type of gifts bless many people abundantly. What I speak of is the mindset that its acceptable to not support ministries in one's diocese  and/or national Church ministries.


I've heard several justifications for this practice. Frankly, I do not agree with ANY of said justifications. It breaks my heart & sours my stomach that , to some Christians, financial support of the Church comes with " terms & conditions."


 To me ,this is just not right and totally against what Christ teaches. he did not discriminate whom He served and whom He ignored . He disregarded cultural norms when it came to helping some of those who sought His healing.


 I am on a limited income, and ALL my pledges to the Church go to wherever they need to go. I trust the leadership of both my Diocese and my National Church to make sound, prayerful choices regarding budgeting.




What can we Christians do to help others to open their minds, hearts { and pocketbooks} for the spreading of the Gospel regardless of petty disagreements with Church leadership? We are called to return a portion back to God for use in furthering The Kingdom of Shalom here on Earth.


I pray for those who still think that its acceptable to support programs and ideas what only fits with their understanding of what is Christian stewardship. I also pray that I find enough peace in my own heart to keep on doing what I feel God is calling me to do.


We all do not need to agree, but we need to come together and build up this part of God's Kingdom.


Amen.


Feast Of St Michael the Archangel, 2013

#Sermonlesson Conflict resolution according to Jesus

Matt 18:15-20


This is a very familiar passage of the Gospel of Matthew that every Christian should know.  Jesus is telling His Disciples how they are to deal with strife and disagreements within their community.  Jesus says:




"If another member of the church{ or community} sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church {or community}, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. "


This is how we Christians are to deal with small sins against each other. At first we are instructed to talk with the person whom we feel has offended us. If that does not resolve the issue, the next step { according to Jesus}is to take one or two other community members with you and talks with the person AGAIN. And if this approach fails, then we are to bring the community into the conflict resolution. And if THAT fails, then Scripture says that we are to treat the offender as one would a 'Gentile or tax collector'. That is, we are to figuratively or literally " cast him or her out".


How many communities of any kind follow this model of conflict resolution?  how many even TRY to follow this model? In my opinion, far too few human communities  Too often we humans would rather gossip behind our friends, family members and work associate's backs than respectfully approach him or her with our complaint.  Admit it---all of us are guilty of this sin. Those of us who are Christians know better yet still we persist in backhanded " conflict resolution" that too often creates bigger and more numerous conflicts.


Why? Why can we not live honestly together and be open to authenticity? What good does backhanded, gossipy "conflict resolution do in the long run? Are we REALLY in such pain that we seek to hurt our sister & fellow community members just because we do not agree with them?


It is not popular to tell the truth in this society. When one is living or working in a community, decision-makers especially  rarely take well to being called out on their misdeeds. Bosses do not wish to be told by their subordinates that their business practices are unethical. Teachers do not wish students to tell them that they are teaching according to a particular political agenda. The list  can go on & on....


Yet in order to live authentic lives as members of communities, we must be open to practicing Jesus' model of conflict resolution.


Amen.