Say it, darn you!

I know someone who is at the end stages of a terrible cancer. he is a good man & my heart just breaks for him & his family.

No one handles the pending death of a friend /loved one well. While my heart is sore for the pain that this family must face as they prepare to say goodbye to their husband/father/brother/uncle/son, son-in/law/brother-in-arms, etc etc I've been thinking about my own life.

There is much I've left unsaid to those whom I love.

I'm not good with emotions, to me it is much easier for me to cope with the world with a Mr Spock-like logic{ Star Trek}. I can deal with facts, but emotions render me stupid. I'm bad with ALL human emotions , even such happy occasions such as weddings confuse me. Human emotions & responses to such emotions frustrate & mystify me.  Although I FEEL deeply I often either totally lack a response to said emotion or have a totally inappropriate response.

I say all this just to make a point. There is much I wish I could tell people that I just{ for one reason or another}cannot.

Reba McIntyre has a wonderful song that echos how I felt about my Pap. The lyrics that *almost* have me in tears every time go something like this " He never said 'I love you' / I guess he though I knew" .

One person who immediately comes to mind is a friend of many years from my time at First College. This individual has played a big part in my life , but due to circumstances I have never told this person how much they mean & have always meant to me. During the years, this friend & I have seen each other through some major life events. Illness, a divorce, my moving to Florida, the death of one of their parents & the death of my Pap,a publication of a book{clearly not my accomplishment} my brother's wedding, my finally finding happiness with Best Dude, travels. You get the idea: we've been through a lot.

But I never told them.

We live hundred s of miles apart now & all I want to do is tell this individual how blessed I am to have them in my life & that I've always treasured the somewhat unorthodox yet very deep friendship-in-Christ we share.

But how should I do this?

Facebook is totally inappropriate. Email isn't much better than Facebook, at least in my opinion. Should I write a 'snail mail' letter & send it via US Post? Maybe I should call & tell them?
I don't know.

Color me confused.