I am not "The Biggest Loser" I am Fit & Healthy.

I am not a fan of the " reality show" on TV called " The Biggest Loser". Now I know many people find this show inspirational, but for me it dredges out many of my since-buried issues with body dysmorphia & disordered eating. While I suppose that I can see how some people glean hope from watching these people transform themselves on this " reality game show" it leaves me with some painful memories.


I have always been a thin person. Both of my parents are thin & even as a baby I lacked even most of the customary " baby fat". 


Due to some unforeseen circumstances , and in spite of my long & lean body type, I developed  disordered eating as a middle-schooler. I am not 100 percent positive of the trigger of this condition, but I am almost certain that two major back surgeries were the catalyst for my unsatisfactory body image.


I know, MOST teen girls hate their looks. But having spent 21 days flat on my back and naked save for a thin hospital gown followed by 10 months in a back brace worn from my shoulder blades down to my tailbone probably exaggerated my unhappiness with my body.


To make a long story shorter, I developed disordered eating.


I was thin , weak and with poor coloring, weak hair and nails, and in a perpetual bad mood. I focused so much on counting calories and "fighting fat" that I missed out on a lot of my younger life.




This condition plagued me from my early teenage years until well into my third decade. It was not until I finally decided that bone-thin DOES NOT equal health & vitality did I choose to change my lifestyle. 


I train at a gym 3-4 days per week, but my goals DO NOT include weight loss. For me, training is not to control my weight. Rather, I seek to improve my body's function.  As hard as I train, I do not follow any particular eating plan. I eat what I want & when I want to eat it. My secret is so easy: I practice PORTION CONTROL.


Yes sir & ma'am it is THAT EASY.


I eat sweets...as a matter of fact I am a choco-holic. Do I eat a whole huge bag of chocolate M&M's? No. I'll enjoy a handful of candy or one piece of pie or cake. On days that I train at the gym, I consume extra calories to make up for the fuel burned when I'm trying hard to build muscle. I NEVER skip meals.


Yet staying away from the mentality of disordered eating is a struggle. On some days{ especially during the busy Christmas holiday season} I struggle daily with these old thought patterns. the difference is that I now know that such disordered thoughts are unhealthy & I've the practical & spiritual wisdom to combat these thoughts.


It bothers me that society won't engage in a discourse about the perils of disordered eating. I KNOW I am not the only person whom I know with these particular "demons" yet no one willingly says" me too".  I wish there were a Disordered Eating Anonymous 12-step program to help those of us in recovery. I believe that I can be of help to women and men who are still in the early stages of recovery but these is no national organization that connects disordered eaters with " sponsors" in their local community. I've known people who go to other 12 step programs & I am told that these programs WORK.


I've found strength, support & solace from my faith community . But I know that "religion" isn't for everyone , so I wish I could make an effort to reach more people who need help with disordered eating.


Amen.

" Pretty White Girl Syndrome" & Jodi Arias

Today the much-awaited verdict was read in an Arizona courtroom. After months of coverage on TV and online, Jodi Arias was found guilty of first-degree murder. 

I am happy that justice, in this case at least , was served. While I am against capital punishment---I do believe that Ms Arias needs to pay her debt to polite society for her remaining natural life. She is not, in my opinion, fit to be among polite society.

Yet what I am most relieved about is that Jodi Arias' case was not acquitted due { in part at least} to what is known in the media as " Pretty White Girl { or woman} Syndrome". 

You know the scened: a conventionally pretty Caucasian girl or woman finds herself in sort type of legal trouble. The national media descends upon the case & the American public is almost literally glued to the TV throughout the duration of said trial. After months of testimony & a drawn-out " jury watch" on HLN, the " pretty white girl" is acquitted of all charges by a jury of her alleged peers.

Why is the " pretty white girl in distress" such a media phenomena?  We see this fascination with the "PWG" with reports of missing persons in the mainstream media. How many missing women-of-color are reported in our news services? I cannot name one, but I can name several PWGs whose plights have captivated American TV viewers.

Laci Peterson

Natalee Holloway

JonBenet Ramsey.

Caylee Anthony

Elizabeth Smart

Jaycee Dugard

Chandra Levy


What trait do all of these " missing persons " share? They are all female, young, attractive & overwhelmingly Caucasian. Why do the mainstream media outlets choose to report upon cases that ONLY involve the PWG? I know there have been studies done upon this subject natter, but the findings of such studies do not satisfy me. Are only PWG's worthy of capturing the attention of our society? What about men & boys who go missing and/or are victims of violent crimes?

I AM a Caucasian American. My hair is naturally blonde, I have fair skin & bluish-green eyes.

My disdain for the Mainstream media's obsession with PWG's does not stem from my membership in a non-white ethnic group.

I am concerned about the propogation of the falsehood that White people are better than nonwhite people" that is still evident now if one knows where to look. If you do not believe me when I say that racism is still an issue visit some a town is Alabama, Missisippi , Ohio or western Pennsylvania. {I have seen evidence of a mentality of Caucasian-centricity in towns in all of these states.} My late grand-Godmother{ may her soul requisitat en pacem} spent all 90-plus years of her life honestly believing that people of African-american descend are somehow " inferior".

It is my wish that  I live to see the end of racism in our nation & as a society. maybe if enough people petition the major news corportations regarding stoping coverage of the PWG Of The Month we can evolve beyond racism once & for all.

Amen.