" Mean" by Taylor Swift

This song has been my " earworm" since Thursday. Thank you, Taylor Swift, for articulating what I cannot say. Bullies continue into adulthood. Parenthetical comments are mine. All yrics are Taylor Swift's and I do not own them.


"Mean"

You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me { Words words words....}
You have knocked me off my feet again { knocked me off when I am down}
Got me feeling like I'm nothing  ( again}
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard{ Hahaha so true}
Calling me out when I'm wounded
You picking on the weaker man { or woman}

You can take me down with just one single blow ( But I get right up}
But you don't know, what you don't know...

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me [ Can't hit me now...I'm taller than you}
And all you're ever gonna be is mean { all you ever were is mean Shame on me for not seeing it earlier}
Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides
And your wildfire lies and your humiliation {Immature backstabbing b____ ! }
You have pointed out my flaws again
As if I don't already see them { I am not perfect, but YOU think you are!!}
I walk with my head down
Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again { I was feeling fine til you yelled at me}

I bet you got pushed around
Somebody made you cold [ Ain't my fault}
But the cycle ends right now { This ain't high school, chika!}
'Cause you can't lead me down that road { 4 years of hell known as high school was over 20 years ago for me. No more.}
And you don't know, what you don't know...

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar
Talking over a football game
With that same big loud opinion
But nobody's listening
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing { Teach...apparently I can't teach!}
But all you are is mean

All you are is mean
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life { Liar, two faced, hopeless, immature, MEAN}
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

But someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean, yeah
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Hey you, Mr Robertson

There is some " Quackery" going on regarding Duck Dynasty's patriarch  and his views on homosexuality today. When I turned on my laptop this morning and logged on to Facebook I was saturated with comments about what Robertson patriarch said regarding his views on homosexuality.

Now don't get me wrong: I totally disagree with Phil Robertson's views on homosexuality. I Totally think his views are errant. Several of my close associates and one member of my family are GLBT. My life is enriched by having these folks in it & I would not want them to try to " change" an essential part of their identity.

 But on the other hand, I will continue to enjoy the entertainment his show provides to me. I grew up among many men who look a lot and act very much like Mr Robertson. { If y'all think rednecks are conservative, come to where I grew up & meet my hillbilly kin and friends}  One does not need to agree with the star of any " reality TV" show to enjoy the entertainment value of said shows. I've read Phil Robertson's book, and I came away from that thinking that he { Robertson} tries to do what he thinks is right. Sometimes I found myself agreeing with his philosophies, and other times I think his views are rather extreme.

The bottom line is: we need not agree with Mr Robertson to appreciate his show. Similarity, we need not agree with Chik-Fil-A's anti-homosexual stance to enjoy the occasional sandwich from that franchise.

Live & let live.

Amen.

"Forgive sounds good/ Forget, I don't think I should."

Facebook always asks me " What's on your mind, Sarah?" Well, something has been troubling me for over one week now.

An old couple who used to attend the church I left before coming to The Episcopal Church live on our street. For two years, I've managed to avoid them. I've feared that actually conversing with either one them would stir some bad memories of the last few years when I was active in that other faith community. 

While I was walking  Dogger last week the wife of the house came out to collect the mail.  Instinctually I looked down , hoping that she would not recognize me.

It was too late. .

Her: " Are you Sarah?" { Oh, ****, she finally recognized me}

Me:" Yeah" { Who else could I be??}

Her: "Do you live on this street now?"

Me: Yeah. {ummm, only for the past two years ....DUH!}

Her, noticing my knee brace: "What happened to your knee?"

Me: " Old injury that I re-hurt."{ Y'all haven't talked to me in 5 years and THIS is what you say?}

Her: Well, good to see you."

Me: "Um, sure."

Dogger and I went on our way.

This conversation bothered me. First of all, I am not good at making so-called small talk even in the best of situations. Secondly, this woman had NOT been someone whom I enjoyed being around when I was a part of my ex-faith community.

I have forgiven these people for ostracizing me when I left their community. But, I have not forgotten the pain caused by their ostracising.

Does forgiving mean forgetting?