2015 so far

It is the middle of January and I am just NOW blogging. These past few weeks have been full of shitty stress, what with the holidays and other such happenings occurring. I am sorry that I have not updated yinz via this blog, but rest assured that I am alive and kicking here in the Deep South. After 17 years of life here in Northwest Florida, I am resigned that this is where God wants me to be at this time in my life. however, I am planning not one but TWO trips back to my beloved mountains this year. [ happy happy] stay tuned to this very blog for more information....


As it turns out, due to an injury in my cervical spine, I have not finished the novel I'd started in November.  Have no fear, friends, I fully intend to finish said novel.  My participating in National Novel Writing Month is fun, but if I am as honest as I try to be I know it is damn well impossible for me to complete 50000 words in 30 days.


The big news is; I am going to be an auntie again. Brother and SIL announced over the holidays that they are expecting baby #2 this summer. Aunthood rocks, and I am so excited to prepare for the arrival of my next niece or nephew.


Best Dude and I are still loving life together. we celebrated our 4th anniversary of non-marriage earlier this month , and I can honestly say that I am blessed beyond belief with such an amazing life partner. While I am DELIGHTED that gay and lesbian people in this state can now legally marry, I for one do not need a piece of paper issued from the government to validate that Best Dude and I are indeed  " one".


I am currently training for a 5k race to be ran in March. so far, my personal best record is EXACTLY 32 minutes. My pre-race goal is 30 minutes or under, and if I stay healthy, I just might accomplish this goal by race day!


Although I've been a member of my current gym for a year now I've not found a training buddy. I'm also ok with training alone, especially since I can now listen to commercial-free music on my NEW Samsung galaxy 5s smartphone.


[ drum roll please....}


Best Dude and I joined the 21st century this past Christmas by getting smartphone.  To be honest, said phone is my latest obsession; the thing does damn well EVERYTHING. I love it!


Happy New Year!

I am not "The Biggest Loser" I am Fit & Healthy.

I am not a fan of the " reality show" on TV called " The Biggest Loser". Now I know many people find this show inspirational, but for me it dredges out many of my since-buried issues with body dysmorphia & disordered eating. While I suppose that I can see how some people glean hope from watching these people transform themselves on this " reality game show" it leaves me with some painful memories.


I have always been a thin person. Both of my parents are thin & even as a baby I lacked even most of the customary " baby fat". 


Due to some unforeseen circumstances , and in spite of my long & lean body type, I developed  disordered eating as a middle-schooler. I am not 100 percent positive of the trigger of this condition, but I am almost certain that two major back surgeries were the catalyst for my unsatisfactory body image.


I know, MOST teen girls hate their looks. But having spent 21 days flat on my back and naked save for a thin hospital gown followed by 10 months in a back brace worn from my shoulder blades down to my tailbone probably exaggerated my unhappiness with my body.


To make a long story shorter, I developed disordered eating.


I was thin , weak and with poor coloring, weak hair and nails, and in a perpetual bad mood. I focused so much on counting calories and "fighting fat" that I missed out on a lot of my younger life.




This condition plagued me from my early teenage years until well into my third decade. It was not until I finally decided that bone-thin DOES NOT equal health & vitality did I choose to change my lifestyle. 


I train at a gym 3-4 days per week, but my goals DO NOT include weight loss. For me, training is not to control my weight. Rather, I seek to improve my body's function.  As hard as I train, I do not follow any particular eating plan. I eat what I want & when I want to eat it. My secret is so easy: I practice PORTION CONTROL.


Yes sir & ma'am it is THAT EASY.


I eat sweets...as a matter of fact I am a choco-holic. Do I eat a whole huge bag of chocolate M&M's? No. I'll enjoy a handful of candy or one piece of pie or cake. On days that I train at the gym, I consume extra calories to make up for the fuel burned when I'm trying hard to build muscle. I NEVER skip meals.


Yet staying away from the mentality of disordered eating is a struggle. On some days{ especially during the busy Christmas holiday season} I struggle daily with these old thought patterns. the difference is that I now know that such disordered thoughts are unhealthy & I've the practical & spiritual wisdom to combat these thoughts.


It bothers me that society won't engage in a discourse about the perils of disordered eating. I KNOW I am not the only person whom I know with these particular "demons" yet no one willingly says" me too".  I wish there were a Disordered Eating Anonymous 12-step program to help those of us in recovery. I believe that I can be of help to women and men who are still in the early stages of recovery but these is no national organization that connects disordered eaters with " sponsors" in their local community. I've known people who go to other 12 step programs & I am told that these programs WORK.


I've found strength, support & solace from my faith community . But I know that "religion" isn't for everyone , so I wish I could make an effort to reach more people who need help with disordered eating.


Amen.

New Gym, New year

Due to unforeseen circumstances that were NOT my fault, I had to join a new gym this year.


Anyhow Snap Fitness offers a one-month free full membership to their franchise. Naturally, since I must be frugal with finances, I happily took full advantage of the free month with the full intent of joining when my trial period is over.


I am currently in search of a gym partner at the current facility. I miss Gym Buddy terribly, even though it is MUCH nicer to train in a drama-free environment. :O) So if any of **yinz** local people want to join me at Snap Fitness, please email or call me. Normally I am NOT a fan of any sort of "change" in my life but this new gym seems to be good thus far. I do wish it offered shower/locker rooms.


Today I focused on legs, with doing the " cardio" part of my training on the elliptical machine. Previously I've shied away from this machine for about 6 months in an attempt to get my bad leg healed. This morning's elliptical workout did my knees some good---I've definitely become stronger since my last 6 month's workout schedule has been dedicated to strengthening the muscles surrounding the weak left knee. I did 20 minutes on the elliptical and feel GOOD! 


I've also increased my personal best on the bench press by 5 pounds. Wh00t!


It is such a blessing to be healthy and fit.


Amen.

Goal number one: MET!!

I had a doctor's appointment{ just a check-up} today. Anyhow, as part of the routine, Dr Personality took my height { I have not grown since 7th grade...} and my weight.

The good news is: I gained enough weight to meet my first goal!

*HappyHappyHappy*

I, a woman who is terrified of needles, now weighs enough to give blood.

I've wanted to give blood for a long time, but my slight weight precluded me from doing so. My Dad is a regular donor of his blood products.

We shall see if I gather enough courage to overcome my fear of needles.

Tank Tops! I haz tank tops!

I turned 37 years old last week----but I feel 37 years YOUNG.

This past year and a half of the fitness journey that I've named Operation Strong-is-the-New-Skinny has been a slow ride towards my goals.

However, I must say that I am fit enough in my arms, back & shoulders to wear the new tank tops that my parental units bought for my birthday without looking like a skeleton.


Photo courtesy of my Instagram account. :O)

 The cover has been removed from over the lap pool area at my fitness centre, so I've taken out the mask & swim fins this past week. I can tell that my body mass has increased, as I float much better than I did at this time last year.  Also, I , um " fill out" my bathing suit top {NATURALLY, I might add} better this year.  But more important than looking better---I feel much better & my stamina is up.

I'm still quite a long way from my goal of being " competition-ready" but I will achieve that goal in due time. Right now I celebrate the fact that I EARNED shoulders & pecs that allow me to wear tank tops & bikinis without shame.

The scales don't lie....I am too thin.

This week I've switched from drinking Muscle Milk as a nutritional supplement to drinking the Ensure  weight-gain formula.  After more than 12 months of trying to gain weight & build muscle I've { albeit slow-ly}  done the former but still struggle with the latter.

Anyhow, the Ensure formula that I now use to supplement my diet post-workout has 100 more calories than the Muscle Milk. I've also discovered that this Ensure formula taste MUCH better than even the Muscle Milk & is also MUCH easier on my sensitive stomach than the latter.

Best Dude & I cannot figure out why I cannot seem to add pounds. I work out hard & I've even cut running  one mile three days per week from my routine. My new cardio exercise is now WALKING on a treadmill set to an INCLINE---so I can increase my heart rate wile working on strengthening my legs.

I WILL gain weight ...I will gain weight.