An open letter to bullies...anyone who is or has been a bully.

Dear former and current bullies....


Why did/do you feel the need to put others down in order to make yourself feel superior? After all, we are all human mammals and all our shit stinks. What gives YOU the right to torment those of us that you see or saw as weak or somehow " less than" ? Is it because secretly we possess a quality that you wish you could have? Is it because someone mistreats or mistreated you?  Or are you just MEAN by nature?


None of these are good excuses to be a bully. You may not like or understand your past or current victims, but that does not give you the right to torment and humiliate us.  We are all different, but we share the same humanity. If YOU were bullied, why do you inflict pain onto others? And by the way, not all of us who suffered or are suffering from bullying end up tormenting others. Some of us have integrity and know how WRONG such behavior is and how it affects victims throughout our lives.


Oh, you do not think that your actions have affected or will affect us , your victims, as we continue to live our lives.


WRONG WRONG WRONG! 


Those of us who were bullied as young people ARE affected every day by your actions that occurred so long ago. I harbor many bad memories of " mean girls" and mean boys in school that have made me cynical, suspicious and guarded. I do not trust people easily, and when betrayed, cannot forgive those who hurt me. It has taken me YEARS to find my own self-worth that was destroyed by your " fun" had at my expense. Thank to your " fun" I now suffer from neurosis that make me very hard to get to know.


Why? Thank to you, I  am careful whom I let into my life. Although I know many people, I consider precious few of them as friends. Your actions taught me that people do not always say what they mean nor do they mean what they say.


Because of my autism, it is even harder for me to decode social situations, and I would much rather  stay within my own mind than engage with stranger who could become friends or, as you bullying types are so fond of doing, become my " frenemies." The latter are the worst type of bullies, as it is never known which of the " faces" we victims will see at any given hour or day.


I've forgiven, but not forgotten. My hope is that my nephew's generation will not know the evils of bullying and its effects on its victims, but I realize that my hope is lofty at best. Although I am far from perfect, I strive to learn and grow each day. And I can honestly say that I've never treated anyone as poorly as you treated your victims.


Be nice,


Sarah Beth