My Name is SarahBeth and I am a " Forgiveness Challenge" dropout

Hi. My name is SarahBeth & I am a Forgiveness challenge dropout.


{ Crowd murmurs " Hi SarahBeth}


"Forgive/Sounds good.
Forget? I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything/But I'm still waiting" ~ Dixie Chicks.


Last month I had an intention to completed ++ Desmond Tutu's international " Forgiveness Challenge" online. I admit when I fail to complete a task & I messed up this one in the worst way. For the first 6 days I was  stoked about this journey of self-discovery, but after the 6th day life's circumstances that occurred beyond my control set me way back. As the first week of this challenge moved into the second week I realized that I am not emotionally nor spiritually "ready" to contemplate forgiveness.


So I dropped out.


I am not a quitter. Quitting is wimpy & my parents did not raise a wimp.


It can be healthy, however, to step back from an unpleasant situation & seek out guidance & perspective. When one is not at a good place emotionally or spiritually, it is hard { if not downright impossible} to focus on forgiveness.  I am too pissed-off to think deeply about forgiveness. & it is not worth my heartache to try to " complete"  this program just for the sake of completion.


Recently I've learned that I'm no good to serve anyone else if my own spiritual/psychological life is in disarray. Sometimes it is necessary to step back from a situation & allow oneself to be led by the Spirit without constantly worrying about staying " at the top of my game'. Spiritual & emotional health is just as important as corporeal health. As I read the day's emails from ++ Tutu last month, I realized that  I am not ready to contemplate forgiveness right now.  The good thing about the 30 Day Forgiveness Challenge is that participants can return to the site and complete each day's activity when ready to do so.


"Life is a journey/Not a destination/...And you just don't can't tell just what tomorrow will bring..."~Aerosmith


There is no need to rush on healing and forgiveness. Each person  heals differently & one's life story/spiritual autobiography factors into each person's  Forgiveness & Healing Timetable.
Several circumstances throughout my 38 years of life on Planet Earth have molded me into a slow healer. I'm like a pot roast: tough & rigid until I  simmer long enough for tenderizing to happen. I do not forgive nor heal easily from soul wounds. With a lot of prayer, I hope I shall come to a place where I can forgive wholeheartedly. 


SEM


Feast Of the Ascension of Our LORD Jesus the Christ 2014